CATLINES Blog

Hemingway Cats

Visiting the museum, and seeing all of Snowball's descendents, was a highpoint of a recent trip to Key West. At that time, we were told that most were neutered,
and some left intact to carry on the bloodline. But one does want them to be cared for...
http://www.usatoday.com/printedition/news/20061226/a_hemingwaycats26.art.htm
happy between holidays week, everyone!
Clea Simon

Cat Humor

The Twelve (Cat) Days of Christmas
Kitty's been in the tree!

                   On the first day of Christmas when I brought home my tree
                                           My 12 cats were laughing at me.
On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
2 maled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree
12 cats a-climbing
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.
Author Unknown

No Declawing

Please sign this petition:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/327400811?ltl=1163468278

Thank you,

Annie Bruce

Good Cats Wear Black

PO Box 11265

Boulder, CO 80301 USA

phone: 303-530-9000

=^..^=

When one is declawed NO cats are safe.

Cat Humor/wrapping presents with cat

"How To Wrap A Gift"

(With Help From Your Furry Friend...)

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag from wardrobe.

3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
labels, etc.

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string.
Remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Reopen drawer and re-remove cat.

10. Remove present from bag.

11. Remove cat from bag.

12. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

13. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

14. Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

15. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.

16. Throw away first sheet as cat tried to chase the scissors and tore
paper.

17. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present
came out of.

18. Place present on cut to size paper.

19. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present.
wonder why edges now don't reach and realize cat is between present and
paper.
Remove cat and retry.

20. Place object on paper to hold in place while cutting transparent sticky
tape.

21. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape
from cat with pair of nail scissors.

22. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as
possible.

23. Look for roll of ribbon, chase cat down hall in order to retrieve
ribbon.

24. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two directional turn.

25. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper that is now torn due to cat's enthusiasm
to chase ribbon end.

26. Repeat steps 13 - 20 until down to last sheet of paper.

27. Decide to skip steps 13- 17 in order to save time and reduce risk of
losing last sheet of paper by retrieving old cardboard box that you know is
right size for sheet of paper.

28. Put present in box and tie down with string.

29. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

30. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable
room.

31. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.

32. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and
re-lock.

33. Repeat previous step as often as necessary until you can hear the cries
from the cat outside the door.

34. Lay out last sheet of paper.
(I know this is difficult in the small area of the bathroom, but try your
best.)

35. Realize that cat has already gotten to the paper.
Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards looking for sheets of
last year's paper, until you remember that you haven't got any left due to
cat's help with wrapping last year.

36. Retire back to room, lock door and sit on toilet while trying to work
out how to make a torn sheet of paper look halfway presentable.

37. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing
down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate
with bows to hide worst affected areas.

38. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself
on making good of a bad job.

39. Unlock door and go to kitchen to make a drink and feed the cat.

40. Spend the next 15 minutes looking for cat before coming to obvious
conclusion...

41. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

42. Retrieve all thrown away sheets of wrapping paper, feed the cat and
retire to room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door
is locked.

43. Find least torn and wrinkled sheets of paper along with the ones that
the pattern matches closest.

44. Vainly try and wrap present in patchwork paper.
Tie with the now tattered ribbon and decorate with the now limp bows. Label
and put present in bag for fear of anyone seeing this disaster.

45. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at the receiver's face as
they try to hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped
present.

46. Swear to yourself that next year you will get the store to wrap the darn
thing for you!

cat humor

author unknownBaking Cookies (with your cat)
     1. Look in cookbook for cookie recipe.
    2. Get cup of coffee.
    3. Get cat off of cookbook.
    4. Find that special recipe.
    5. Get cat's nose out of coffee mug.
    6. Go to fridge and get eggs.
    7. Get dry ingredients from cupboard.
    8. Break eggs in small bowl.
     9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl.
     10. Answer the phone.
     11. Cat ate eggs; get more from fridge.
     12. Get cat out of flour bowl and dust cat off.
     13. Get Band-Aids for scratches on hands. 
      14. Throw flour out and get more.
      15. Preheat oven for cookies.
      16. Looking at cat &wanting to bake cat now.       Cat runs for cover
into bathroom.
      17. Flour the counter to roll out cookie dough.
      18. Big crash in bathroom; run to see what happened.
      19. Cat has TP all over floor; stuff spilled   and knocked over on top
of bathroom counter.
      20. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl. 
     21. Can sense cat is angry.
      22. Take cat out of toilet to dry cat off.
      23. Get bandages to cover more scratches       on arms and legs.
      24. Cleanup bathroom.
      25. Hear a thump in kitchen ...
      Oh Golly ... now what?
      26. Get cat off floured counter in kitchen.
      27. Try to pick out cat hairs from flour.
     28. Step on cat's tail and get bitten.
      29. Get coat, car keys, and go to store to buy cookies!!!         
 
author unknown

New Cat Book

Carolyn Vella and I are proud to announce the release of the second (2006)
edition of Breeding Pedigreed Cats. For those of you who know the book, the
first (1997) edition has recently been selling on eBay for $150 and more.

This version is longer and more global in scope, and cheaper. It is being
sold only through the website www.breedingpedigreedcats.com
<http://www.breedingpedigreedcats.com/> .

John McGonagle

Award-winning, Professional Member of CWA

A Cat Is...

A cat is ...
Many things to many men,
More than just a ball of fluff,
Its mind is wise; its spirit's strong,
It is both delicate and tough.
A cat is ...
A sleuth, a spy, a private eye,
Trespasser and invader,
Snoopy and inquisitive,
An astute investigator.
A cat is ...
Proud and brave - cowed and afraid,
Loyal, fickle, hot and cold,
Alert and sleepy - bright and dull,
Naughty, haughty, bold.
A cat is ...
Dependently independent,
A royal ruler of the realm,
A president and C.E.O.,
And a captain at the helm.
A cat is ...
A thinker of the deepest thoughts,
With an impenetrable mind,
A people pleaser, a problem easer,
A purr-ful sedative that's fine.
A cat is ...
A bafflement, a puzzlement.
A question mark that purrs,
A perplexity, a paradox,
A Rubik's Cube with fur.
~ author unknown ~

Why The World Needs Pets

Why The World Needs Pets
By Bill Clanton of All Pets Radio (
www.allpetsradio.com)

They won't hold a grudge. They won't leave you for someone else. They
know how to show their affection. They even know your feelings better than
you do. Who are "they"? Well "they" go by many names, but most of the
world just calls them "Pets". Pets are wondrous creatures whose powers go
beyond that of spiritual or magical. Perhaps that power is what the world
needs more of.
Recently while being interviewed by a local newspaper reporter I was asked
the question, "Why do you think that pets have become so popular in recent
years?" I thought for a moment and then answered. "We are a nation at war,
a nation still recovering from the after effects of September 11th, a nation
rebuilding in the wake of a devastating hurricane in the South, all while
living in a media spoon fed world with terror attacks in every news break."
I then went on to explain the key thing that separates us from our pets.
"If I were to go to a human friend for emotional support, I could only
expect so much. You see, they could be affected by the same negative
worldly stress that depresses me. However, my pet remains unaffected."
This newspaper reporter agreed with my statement and we spent several
minutes talking about the idea of "unconditional love".
Unconditional love is a phrase that I have heard people from all walks of
life relate totally to pets. I find it amazing that so many people with
different backgrounds, cultures, and languages can come to this same
agreement. When we are at our lowest of lows our pet will still be there.
Pets fill the void in our lives.
Another incredible aspect of pets is in the case of loved ones away from
home. While loved ones may be over seas fighting to preserve freedom, pets
are fighting battles here on the emotional frontlines in our homes. Our
pets are armed with the weapons of mass affection. A wet nose, a wagging
tail, a friendly purr, and soft snuggly fur remain a strong hold of the pet
arsenal. In a few short moments a pet can bring us from a face full of
tears to a face full of cheers.
They always aim to please expecting nothing in return. I have never heard
of a dog not loving his master because his master forgot say "I love you",
or a cat ignoring her caretaker because they got home late from work. Wait,
I am talking about cats so actual results of the previous statement may
vary. My point is that we could learn a tremendous amount about humility
and humanity from our pets. Humans using the powers gained by observing our
pets could one day actually bring about world peace. In the mean time we
take it one heart at a time.
The next time you find yourself alone, hurt, sad, or frightened, just find
your furry friend, open up your heart, and let the power heal you.

Bill Clanton
Program Director
All Pets Radio
www.allpetsradio.com

Dewey The Cat Dies

Dewey the Cat Dies in Librarian's Arms

Filed at 7:09 a.m. ET

SPENCER, Iowa (AP) -- The final chapter is closed on Dewey Readmore
Books. The 19-year-old cat, who became a mascot for the city's library
after being found in a book drop, died Wednesday in the arms of
librarian Vicki Myron.

The temperature was minus 10 when Myron and another librarian found
Dewey under a pile of books in the library's book drop when they came
to work one morning in January 1988.

''We didn't know if someone abandoned him or if a Good Samaritan found
him on the street and shoved him in the book drop to get him out of the
cold,'' she said. ''His paws were frozen. We warmed him up and fed him
and he just purred and cuddled. From day one, we felt he'd be the right
personality for the public.''

Since then, Dewey became famous, with television crews coming from as
far away as Japan to do stories about him, Myron said.

The cat's name was chosen in a contest shortly after he was found. He
was named after the Dewey Decimal System, which is used in most
libraries to catalog books.

Dewey, who Myron said came running for cheeseburgers, boiled ham and
chicken garlic TV dinners, had been experiencing health problems
recently and was diagnosed with a stomach tumor shortly before Nov. 18,
which was officially marked as his 19th birthday.

After his health rallied, he started ''acting funny trying to hide''
and Myron decided to take him to the vet and have him euthanized.

Library employee Kim Peterson said the staff is talking about having
Dewey cremated and burying his ashes at the library.

giving up the kids

I hear this originated on a rescue site. Don't know the author. Don't you wish this could be printed on the front page of USA Today or somewhere?
Linda
___________________________
PLEASE HELP
After two long years of being on a waiting list for an exotic cat, we were finally notified by the breeder that at long last our number has come up, and
We're having a kitty!!
So, we must immediately get rid of our children, because we know how time consuming our new little kitty is going to be! Since our kitty will be arriving
Monday, we must place the children in new homes by this weekend!!
They are described as:
One male: White, blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. Doesn't bite. Name is Tommy. Temperament tested. Up to date on all shots.
Tonsils removed already and very healthy. Tommy eats everything is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors
and with a little time and training he will do well in a new home.
One female: Strawberry blonde hair, green eyes. Three years old. Can be surly at times. Is a non-biter but does suck her thumb when stressed or is tired.
Her name is Mary. Temperament tested, but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. Is current on all shots. Very healthy and happy        (mostly).
Gets along well with little boys, but does not like to share toys. She is house trained, and would probably do best in a one child household.
We really LOVE our children and want to do what is best for them. I hope you understand, that ours is a unique situation and we have a real  emergency here!!
They must be placed by Sunday night at the latest.
I hear that in Tennessee there are bins where you can leave off strays.... does anyone know if there is something like that around here for children?